We are often more concerned with the appearance of our personal behavior than the actual substance. So we hold grudges and carry on our personal warfare with each other out of sight. Or so we think. Not so fast, suggests this article from The Atlantic. It discusses the effect of parental conflict on children:
“They aren’t fooled when one spouse gives another the silent treatment—the emotion is palpable.” Source: How Passive Aggression Hurts Kids – The Atlantic
The article described how smoldering, unresolved conflicts between parents do damage to their children, and quoted psychology Professor E Mark Cummings as saying that “‘…people underestimate the sensitivity of kids to their environments…'”
It might even be a step back from underestimation to a lack of awareness, which may be a broader feature of our conflicts with each other. We seem to have little or no idea of the damage we do to those around us.